Previously unmentioned in this blog: I've moved to LA. That happened about 8 months ago. Sometimes I am very happy here. The people are good looking I guess. It might be turning me anorexic.
I read over my old journal earlier today and maybe it was the thickness of my shirt, or the dramatic effect of my shave, but I feel more relaxed now. It's possible that previously I wasn't here as myself, or even in Chicago... facing all that stuff and recognizing how emotionally wild I was, and incorporating that into my current narrative, puts me at peace. A common story back then was for me to get obsessed with someone who was within reach and fed me a bone now and then, but was otherwise emotionally unavailable. I mean I would be in LOVE, and then I would concoct minischeme after minischeme and write it all down. Ironically, if any of them had worked, I would no longer be interested. They were a tad dumb. That's hard to admit.
Today I feel that with my focus on my career and the rapid maturing of my friends, my life has become rather dry. My old livejournal would have comments from a circle of friends out the wazzu. Gina, Kyle, Sarah, Eli, Rachel, and Amy... all these people have moved on, moved to another state, or become an orthodox jew. Now it's just Mats, and he and I are very different people. I've made some new friends here, but it's hard to compare to them to the old time crew. I think I can make friends easily, but no one can speed up time to make these relationships deep!
However, outside of this stated goal (expand my social life) my focus for this journal will be as a work progress blog, with maybe a splash of color now and then. I'm going to simply record what I worked on that day, to keep myself accountable... much like what a manager would do to their employee.
Right now my 30 rock spec is two scenes away from being "complete." Some jokes are missing in some spots, and this is noted, but I'm completely intent on going back after the completion of this first draft to redo a lot of the dialogue and scene descriptions, especially to make the character's voices more true to themselves. A particular focus is Liz, who was surprisingly difficult.
Friday, April 29, 2011
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