I fear I am getting nothing done with my life. I am in a holding pattern. Why am I not applying to grad school, or finding a career, or working as a production assistant? Where the hell is my progress?

Finished!

Yes! Finally finished the last scene of the first draft. Now that the story work is done, I can go back and finish a lot of the clean-up... but later, and with fresh eyes. Beyond just general housekeeping (making sure the blocking, etc. looks professional) I need to work on Tracy's voice. My god it's hard to write Tracy.

Tracy is a racist minefield.

Between then and now I am developing the pilot and getting a job. And then Sarah comes in August to write our Big Bang Theory.

Pops issue

I was poised to write today, but bad news this morning about my grandpa derailed me. He had a stroke at 8 am and this is it. I can't feel it out properly. I think my brain is trying to ignore it, but I think this a trap a lot of men fall into to. It boils beneath the surface, and I am testy with everyone until I told them what happened. He's 92, and he seems ready to go, but it's still my mother's father and he's still a real person who's dying. I say it's ok, but I know I will still be scared shitless to die when I am 92. I want to tell him I'm gay before he goes... he's the only person I never told, and I think that's when the divide between us started.

I have one scene left to write before my first draft is completed, and then I can revise, or start another project and revise later, or, you know. Get a job.